A Hogwartian Musical
by Feishien
Summary: Hogwarts: A place where everyone sings and dances; be afraid, be very afraid!
1. Dance of the House elves

Harry Potter stared at the monsterous scene that befell his eyes that morning at the breakfast table. it was Dudley's birthday and, as a treat, Aunt Petunia gave Dudley an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. Unfortunately, all-you-can-eat meant cleaning the house of everything edible for Dudley; he was trying to wolf down several plates of bacon and eggs, devour mountains of toast, cram hash browns in his mouth and guzzle down orange juice at the same time. The sight was sickening. harry tried not to throw up in his tiny bowl of cereal.  
"And when you're done," said Aunt Petunia, sticking her head out of the kitchen, "I have a special birthday cake just for my Duddykins to eat!"  
"Oh goody, more food for Dudley to stuff his face with" muttered harry under his breath.  
Dudley glared at Harry.  
"What was that, Potter?" said Dudley, through a mouthful of toast.  
"Nothing" replied Harry, feeling a bit queasy.  
Dudley shruged and went back to eating.   
After a few moments of eating, Dudley looked up from his plates with a look of fright, which was quickly replaced with a disturbing sick look.  
Harry prepared to dive under the table when Dudley gave an almighty 'BURP' and continued eating.  
Harry winced.  
"Is my Duddykins ready for his birthday cake?" sang Aunt Petunia, sailing into the room carrying a huge silver platter holding one large chocolate cake.  
"Almost" replied Dudley, finishing off the last rasher of bacon.  
"Here you go, Duddy" said Aunt Petunia, placing the platter right between Harry and Dudley.  
Harry stared enviously at the cake, but he knew if he so much as ate one tiny bit of the icing, it was back to the cupboard under the stairs for the rest of the summer.  
Just then, Uncle Vernon came in through the kitchen door, back from test driving the new car.  
"Ah yes," he said gleefully, eyeing the humungous cake "Happy Birthday Dudley! Do you think I could have a slice?"  
"I don't think so dad - "  
But Harry wasn't paying attention to what the Dursleys were saying, he was more interested in what had come through the door after Uncle Vernon that no one seemed to notice.  
Four house elves (from Hogwarts no doubt) were looking at Harry in awe. When they saw Harry looking at them, they all stumbled back and bowed. Two of them put their fingers to their lips and the other two pointed to Dudley.  
Dudley was still arguing with Uncle Vernon about the cake, when one of the house elves leaped upon the table and cleared his throat.  
The Dursleys seemed to have frozen at the sight of the elf.  
  
House elf 1: Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do   
I have a perfect puzzle for you   
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee   
If you are wise, you'll listen to me  
  
At this the rest of the House elves jumped on the table and started bobbing up and down.  
  
House elf 2: What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?   
Eating as much as an elephant eats?  
  
House elf 3: What are you at getting terribly fat?   
What do you think will come of that?  
  
House elf 4: I don't like the look of it  
  
House elves: Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da   
If you're not greedy, you will go far   
You will live in happiness too   
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do   
  
Uncle Vernon unfroze first and grabbed the nearest cooking utensil, which happened to be a wooden spoon and whacking the house elves off the table.  
Aunt Petunia reached for the broom and attempted to sweep all the house elves out the door, but they just kept on coming back.  
Dudley was encouraging his parents and waving his fork around in the air.  
Harry was just watching all the pandemonium around him, trying not to laugh, but then realised that the Dursleys would think it was all his idea and then he would be put back into the cupboard.  
"erm...excuse me?" said Harry tidmidly.  
The house elves stopped moving, and Aunt Petunia sucessfully sent one flying out the kitchen door.  
"I - I think you should go now...back to Hogwarts - all of you!"  
All of the house elves turned to face Harry (the house elf that Aunt Petunia got rid of walked dejectedly into the room, rubbing it's head) they all clicked their fingers and were gone in an instant.  
Uncle Vernon then advanced on Harry.  
"YOU!" He roared, a vein pulsing in his temple.  
"It wasn't me!" Harry tried to reason  
"Get into the cupboard! NOW!"  
It was no good arguing, Harry shuffled over to the cupboard and slammed the door sulkily.  
"Aww crap!" cursed Harry "I forgot to get the rest of my stuff!" 


	2. Glaring and other strange things

Disclaimer: I realise I had no disclaimer in any of my fics, so here goes.  
I do not own Harry Potter, or the Oompa Loompa song, or even the idea of a Hogwartian Musical. I do own, however, this computer and my imagination. OH WAIT! My imagination was sold to TV, so I only own the computer.  
  
On with the story!  
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After a dreadful summer under the stairs, Harry was greatful to be going back to Hogwarts, a place where he truly belonged.  
"Harry!" came a familiar voice as soo as he steped onto Platform 9 3/4.  
"Harry! Over here!"  
Harry glanced over to the direction of the voice and spotted Hermione, Ron and the rest of the Weasleys. Harry made his way over.  
"How were your holidays? Muggles give you a hard time? Mine were full of 'Percy this' and 'Percy that', and 'Ron, why can you be more like your brother PERCY?!' Honestly, it's driving me insane!"  
"Well, I've been stuck in that darn cupboard all summer, but other than that, it's been a pretty ok time." replied Harry. "What about you, Hermione?"  
Hermione was staring blankly into space, her expresssion neutral.  
"Hermione?"  
"She's been like that ever since we got here" explained Ron. "Won't say a thing"  
Harry waved his hand in front of her face; he clicked his fingers; he even did the chicken dance, but nothing seemed to get Hermione out of her trance.  
"I've got it!" excalimed Ron "Hermione, Iheard you will fail every single subject"  
"WHAT?!?!" Hermione's expression quickly turned from vague to alarmed. "ohmigosh omigosh omigosh!"  
Hermione paced around, biting her nails and looking nervous.  
Mrs Weasley stopped trying to wipe dirt off Ginny's nose and turned to Hermione.  
"Of course you're not going to fail every subject, Hermione dear." she comforted.  
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief and glared at Ron. Ron glared back. Harry had no one to glare at, so he stood to one side, feeling left out.  
The Hogwarts Express finally came, and not a moment too soon.  
Everyone was in such a flurry to get into the train and get good seats, it was a wonder how Harry, Ron and Hermione managed to get a whole compartment to themselves.  
Hermione and Ron sat opposite each other, while Harry sat down next to Ron.  
"So Hermione - " began Harry, trying to make awkward conversation "Why were you staring listlessly into space?"  
"oh, you know, I was thinking..." said Hermione, as she stared listlessly off into space.  
"Oh for-get it!" Harry turned to Ron. "Ron -"  
But Ron had fallen asleep for some unknown reason and was snoring dilligently.  
Harry walked out of the train compartment, fed up of his friends. Harry walked past many compartments, and met a few familiar faces on the way. Suddenly he heard a piano striking up in the compartment next to him.  
"What the-?" Harry sneaked a look behind the door and his eyes met with Ginny, sitting at a piano.  
  
Ginny: So much is happening to me.   
So much that I can't even see.   
So many words of wisdom that I am trying to be.   
Catch me if I should fall.   
And even more so while I'm standing tall.   
Harry couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing.  
"Ginny can sing?!"  
My head is spinning around and it's making me dizzy.   
I'm spinning around and it's making me ill.   
You don't understand what I'm going through just to find a way to fly.   
It'll be in my own time.   
It'll be in my own time.   
  
Whispering thoughts in all different ways.   
That I'm in a daze.   
My head is spinning around and it's making me dizzy.   
I'm spinning around and it's making me ill.   
You don't understand what I'm going through just to find a way to fly.   
It'll be in my own time.   
'cause it'll be in my own time.   
In my own time.   
  
In my own time I'll take a chance.   
In my own time I'll find romance. In my own time.   
It'll be mine.   
After the clouds there'll be the rain.   
After the sun there'll be the moon it doesn't matter.   
'cause it'll be in my own time  
  
"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay then..."  
Ginny heard Harry's voice and turned to his direction. Luckily, Harry hid behind the door just in time. He couldn't wait to tell Hermione and Ron what he had just saw.  
He "Eek"ed back to his compartment.   
  
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There, the second chapter! What did you think? Review and tell me!!! 


	3. Rapping Dumbledore

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Nothing, zilch; get the picture?  
  
Here is the long anticipated (well, not really) third chapter to my Hogwartian musical. :)  
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Thankfully, when Harry got back, Hermione was back on earth and Ron was awake; Unfortunately, they were back to glaring at each other.  
"Oh great" muttered Harry upon entering the compartment. "Hi guys"  
"SSSHHHHHHHHH! No time for talking" said Hermione, glaring furiously.  
"Can't you see we're busy?" said Ron, glaring, if possible, even harder.  
"Urrrghhh -_-' I have such weird friends." he thought to himself.  
~*~  
Hermione and Ron finally stopped glaring at each other when the train pulled into the station. There was another flurry to get out of the train, with lots of pushing and shoving.  
"Hello 'Arry, Ron, Hermione!" came the familiar voice of Hagrid.  
"Hi Hagrid!" replied Harry Ron and Hermione.  
But their meeting was cut short as a fresh wave of first years came stampeding across to Hagrid.  
Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way to a horseless carriage and rode in silence.   
As soon as the carriage stopped, it started raining, so there was a mad dash to the caslte. In all the hub-bub, Harry managed to bump, rather unwelcomely, into none other than Draco Malfoy.  
"Well, well, Potter, we meet again" sneered Malfoy.  
"Well DUH Malfoy, we go to the same school, remember?"  
"We won't be for long, Potter" replied Malfoy harshly.  
"Oh goody, are you going to transfer schools?" asked Hermione innocently.  
"Oh, even better, Mudblood" Malfoy said scathingly. "But i wouldn't want to ruin the surprise" with that Malfoy strutted off.  
"That bastard! Why i oughtta-" Ron cracked his knuckles threateningly.  
"I wonder what on Earth Malfoy is on about?" said Hermione.  
"Yeah," Harry wondered out loud. "What's better than having Malfoy change schools?"  
~*~  
  
There was endless chatter in the Great Hall as Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.  
"Can I have your attention please?" he said in a very nasel voice.  
Everyone stopped talking immediately and turned mechanically toward Dumbledore.  
"Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?"  
Draco stood up, his head hung in shame.  
"No, no," said Dumbledore in alarm "I was only joking, see, Iwas listening to my Eminem CD over the Summer and...never mind"  
Draco's face turned a lovely shade of bright red as he sat down, muttering incoherently.  
"What I would like to say is that the Sorting will begin shortly."  
Professor McGonagall walked in carrying the sorting Hat and a three legged stool. The fiirst years were following behind.  
"Um...there will be no sorting song this year, because..the...Sorting hat has caught...uh...influenza and has temorarily lost his voice" McGonagall announced.  
A gasp echoed around the Great Hall and there were several murmurs of things like "What the..??" and "How can a hat catch the flu?" But no one could answer these questions.  
The sorting was as usual and nothing strange happened, which is why I'm skipping over this bit.  
OK, after the sorting Dumbledore stood up to make yet another announcement.  
"Ahem! Be silent!" He boomed.  
All was silent.  
"I would just like to express my thoughts through song and dance!"  
Magically, Dumbledore changed into baggy pants, an over sized t-shirt, and a pair of sunglasses.  
Harry buried his head in his hands  
"Oh no!" he moaned  
  
Dumbledore: (rapping)Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,   
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?  
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,  
through the perilous fight,  
O'er the ramparts we watched,   
were so gallantly streaming?  
And the rockets red glare,  
the bombs bursting in air,  
Gave proof through the night,  
That our flag was still there,  
  
Several jaws dropped and there were mutterings of "Dumbledore's American???"  
  
Oh say, does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave,  
O'er the land of the free  
and the home of the brave.  
  
Dumbledore started moving his hands around the way rappers genrally do, and when Professor McGonagall tried to stop him, Dumbledore 'accidently' elbowed her in the jaw while doing his poses.  
  
On the shore dimly seen throughout the mists of the deep  
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes  
What is that which the breeze o'er the towering steep  
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?  
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam  
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream.  
`Tis the Star-Spangled Banner, Oh long may it wave  
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.  
  
Everyone, teachers and students alike, were all staring, mouths wide open and eyes glazed over at Dumbldore.  
  
And where is that band who so hauntingly swore  
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion  
A home and country, shall leave us no more?  
Their blood was washed out their foul foot steps pollution  
No refuge could save the hireling and slave  
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave.  
And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph doth wave  
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.  
  
And Dumbledore took one big breath to rap out the last verse of the song:  
  
Oh thus be it e'er when free men shall stand  
Between their loved homes and war's desolation!  
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven rescued land   
Praise the Pow'r that has made and preserved us a nation  
And conquer we must when our cause is just  
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."  
And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave  
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.  
"Well," Dumbledore said "That's all I had to say. Tuck in"  
And with that the table was filled with food, and everyone ate a great deal.  
"GAAAAAAAHHH!" Harry exclaimed "What's with all the singing???"  
"Singing?" Ron replied, his mouth full of mashed potato.  
"You know, Dumbledore was just rapping out there!"  
"Rapping? Harry, I think you're hallucinating!" said Hermione, feeling Harry's forehead.  
"HA! Dumbledore rapping, that's a good one" Ron chirped.  
'Why isn't everyone hearing the singing and seeing the dancing???' Harry wondered.  
  
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So whaddaya think??? Review! Review I say!!! Pretty please??? 


	4. Prefects get footloose

I don't own...  
The chracters, or even the plot. I'm just rewriting the general idea of a musical. Hogwarts style.  
  
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After the feast, it was time for the announcements [A/N are the announcements usually made before or after the feast???].   
"It is time to announce the Head Boy and Girl and the prefects!" said Dumbledore gleefully.  
Hermione's face lit up.  
"I got the letter over the holidays!" she squealed "I'm a prefect!"  
"Oh wow, didn't see that coming" muttered Ron.  
"The Prefects for this year will be: Miss Hermione Granger!"  
Hermione froze up and stared into space, eyes glazed over; a broad grin plastered all over her face.  
"For Hufflepuff: Mr Justin Flinch-Fletchly!"  
Everyone clapped politely. Hermione was still frozen.  
"The Ravenclaw Prefect will be Miss Padma Patil!"  
More clapping.  
"And the final Prefect will be for Slytherin...Mr Draco Malfoy!"  
Hermione snapped out of her trance and looked horrified.  
"D...D..Draco is a prefect?" she stuttered "That...that's not right!"  
"Well, we could all see that coming" muttered Ron.  
"Oh, shut up!" scowled Hermione.  
Dumbledore continued to call out the Head Boy and Girl.  
"Now would you all come up here please, to collect your badges!" announced Dumbledore.  
[A/N I know this doesn't usually happen, but work with me here. This IS a fanfiction, after all]  
The Heads and Prefects all got up to collect their badges.  
"Let me show you to your common room" said Professor McGonagall to the new prefects.  
Professor McGonagall led them to a portrait of a Mermaid.  
"Password?"  
"Ashwinder" recited McGonagall.  
The portrait swung open to reveal a richly decorated room, complete with six armchairs in house colours and a full bookshelf.  
"Wow" Hermione gasped.  
~*~  
The next few days were hectic for all the Prefects, What with getting ready for their O.W.Ls and organising the up coming winter ball [A/N A fanfiction isn't complete without a winter ball!] So it wasn't surprising what Hermione did next.  
Hermione walked through the portrait hole exahaustedly one afternoon, coming back from her Arithmancy class, which had run late.  
Harry was waiting patiently in the Prefects common room for her. (How he got in was a mystery)  
"Hermione! There you are! Remember you said you'd tutor me???" he whined.  
Hermione looked half dead. Then all of a sudden, her face lit up in anticipation. She cleared her throat.  
"Not AGAIN!!!" moaned Harry.  
  
Hermione: Been working so hard   
I punch in my card   
Eight hours, for what   
Now tell me what I got   
I've got this feeling   
That time's just holding me down   
I'll hit the ceiling   
Or else I'll tear up this town   
  
The rest of the prefects, who had been lounging around on their armchairs all got up.  
  
Prefects: Now I gotta cut   
Loose, footloose   
Kick off your Sunday shoes   
Please, Louise   
Pull me offa my knees   
Jack, get back   
C'mon before we crack   
Lose your blues   
Everybody cut footloose   
  
Harry stood there, frozen in mortification.  
Suddenly Draco walked up to Hermione and took a deep breath.  
  
Draco: You're playing so cool   
Obeying every rule   
Dig way down in your heart   
You're burning, yearning for some   
Somebody to tell you   
That life ain't passing you by   
I try to tell you   
It will if you don't even try   
You can fly if you'd only cut   
  
Prefects: Loose, footloose   
Kick off your Sunday shoes   
Oowhee, Marie   
Shake it, shake it for me   
Whoa, Milo   
C'mon, c'mon let's go   
Lose your blues   
Everybody cut footloose  
  
Hermione: We got to turn me around   
  
Draco: You put your feet on the ground   
Now take a hold of your soul  
  
Prefects: Loose, footloose   
Kick off your Sunday shoes   
Please, Louise   
Pull me offa my knees   
Jack, get back   
C'mon before we crack   
Lose your blues   
Everybody cut footloose   
Then, as quickly as they had all leaped up, everyone sat back down, and it looked like a musical had never started at all.  
Hermione turned to Harry.  
"So why don't I start tutoring you now, then?" she said sweetly.  
"N-n-no no, that's okay, I don't need you to anymore" Harry stuttered, stumbling backward.  
"Are you sure?" asked a puzzled Hermione.  
"Y-yes. Gotta go"   
With that, Harry blundered out the door. [A/N blundered...hehe]  
Once out of sight of the Prefect common room, he dashed all the way to the Gryffindor common room.  
'I have got to get out of this musical madness!!' He thought wildly to himself.  
  
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FOOTLOOSE! I've often contemplated about putting it in this Musical. And now it has been done.  
Review me! Please? 


	5. Ron doesn't wanna be you

Harry arrived at the Gryffindor common room, panting slightly. Harry was sure his best friend, Ron, wouldn't burst into song. Right???  
Ron was sitting in an armchair, gazing into the fire. He turned around.  
"Oh, hi Harry" he said cheerfully, spotting Harry.  
"Hi Ron" replied Harry, as he sat down in the arm chair next to Ron.  
"What are you doing?" Harry asked as he saw Ron having a staring competition with the fire.  
"What? Oh, I'm waiting for mum's head to appear in the fire. [A/N is there a name for that?] She said she wanted to talk to me"  
"Oh"  
Ron didn't have to wait any longer, because just then, Mrs Wealey's head popped up in the fire.  
"Hello, Ron dear"said Mrs Weasley, cheerfully. "Hello to you to, Harry" she said, spotting harry.  
"Hello, Mrs Weasley"  
"Hi mum"  
"I just wanted to talk to you about your grades this year." pressed Mrs Weasley. Ron gave a loud groan.  
"I am serious, Ron, I have a feeling that it's all going down hill. You ought to shape up if you want to be a Prefect, or even Head Boy!"  
Ron's face went rigid.  
"THAT's what you wanted to talk about?" Ron almost yelled "We've been over it a hundred times over the Summer, mum -"  
"I just want what's best for you Ron and -"  
Harry felt like he should be somewhere else.  
"WHAT'S BEST FOR ME?" Ron roared. "What's best for me is that you leave me alone, okay, mum?"   
Rock music started playing in the background. Harry could sense another song coming on.  
  
Ron: It's a new day, but it all feels old  
It's a good life, that's what I'm told  
But everything it all just feels the same.  
At Hogwarts, it feels more to me  
Like a jail cell, or penitenary  
My time spent here it only makes me see  
  
Mrs Weasley was slowly growing impatient.  
  
Ron: That I don't ever wanna be like you,  
I dont wanna do the things you do  
I'm never gonna hear the words you say,  
'cos I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be  
You, don't wanna be just like you  
What I'm saying is  
This is the Anthem, throw all your hands up  
You, don't wanna be you  
  
Harry couldn't believe it; he had to get out, but he was somehow glued to the chair.  
'They're all out to get me' he thought miserably.  
  
Ron: Go to college, get in the Ministry, [A/N the Ministry of magic, not some church ministry...just to get that straight]  
Get a real job, that's what they said to me  
But I can't ever live the way they want  
I'm gonna get by, and just do my time  
Out of step while they all get in line  
Im just a minor threat so pay no mind  
  
Ron suddenly turned to Harry, took him by the shoulders, picked him up off his chair ('Why couldn't I have done that before?') and started shaking him vigorously.  
  
Ron: Do you really wanna be like them  
Do you really wanna be another trend  
Do you wanna be part of that crowd  
Cause I dont ever wanna  
I dont ever wanna be  
  
Ron then let go of Harry and turned to Mrs Weasley.  
Harry tried fruitlessly to get out of his chair.  
  
Ron: You.....  
Dont wanna be just like you  
What im sayin is this is the Anthem  
Throw all your hands up  
You.Dont wanna be you  
  
Then some random Gryffindor first years came into the common room  
  
Random Gryffindor First years: Shake it once thats fine  
Shake it twice thats ok   
Shake it three times your playin with yourself...again  
  
The first years then started dancing up the staircase to their rooms.  
  
Ron: You... dont wanna be just like you   
What im sayin' is this is the anthem  
Throw all your hands up   
Ya'll got to feel me   
Sing if your with me   
You... dont wanna be just like you   
What im sayin is this is the anthem   
Throw all your hands up   
Ya'll got to feel me   
Sing if your with me   
Another loser anthem  
  
The random first years poked their heads around their bedroom doors  
  
First years: Whoa!  
  
Ron: Another loser anthem  
  
First years: Whoa!  
  
Ron:Another loser anthem,   
  
First years: Whoa!  
  
Ron: Another loser anthem...  
  
The song ended as soon as it had started, and pretty soon everything seemed normal, like it always does after someone sings randomly.  
  
"Well, honestly, Ron, don't you want to join your father and Percy in the Ministry of Magic?"  
"NO, mum -" retorted Ron  
  
Harry thought he might slip out of this awkward situation.   
He edged around the walls and darted out the door, hoping Ron wouldn't come after him and start singing again. Thankfully, he didn't.  
Harry decided to go to the Library. he was sure Madam Pince would not allow singing there. 


	6. Malfoy's Melody

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter and co. but alas! They belong to JK Rowling! *withers and dies*  
  
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...the SIXTH chapter!!!  
  
~*~  
  
When Harry got to the library, it was deserted.  
'Good' he thought to himself 'no people equals no singing, unless Madam Pince comes in and starts singing.'  
Harry chuckled to himself at the thought of Madam Pince singing.  
Just then he heard the door creak open. Harry jumped.  
"Spoke too soon" he muttered.  
Three people walked through the door, and they we'ren't Madam Pince; they were the last three people Harry wanted to be in a deserted Library with: Draco Malfoy, and his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.  
Harry leaped behind the nearest bookshelf before they could've seen him.  
"Please don't start singing" Harry peaded under his breath "For the love of Merlin, do not start singing..."  
Harry was just thinking how awkward it would be being in a library with Draco singing, when music came on somewhere  
"Aww, crap!"  
  
Crabbe & Goyle: When this began  
  
Draco: I had nothing to say, and I was lost in the nothingness inside of me  
  
Harry blinked in utter confusion and surprise.  
  
Crabbe & Goyle: I was confused  
  
Draco: And I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind   
  
By this time Harry realised that singing was going on, but he couldn't walk out right in the middle of Draco, Crabbe and Goyle singing. Besides, Harry was once again mysteriously stuck on the floor.  
  
Crabbe & Goyle: Inside of me   
  
Draco: But all the vacancy the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel   
  
C&G: Nothing to lose   
  
Draco: Just stuck, hollow and alone   
And the fault is my own   
And the fault is my own   
  
I want to heal   
I want to feel   
What I thought was never real   
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long  
  
C&G: Erase all the pain 'til it's gone  
  
Draco:I want to heal   
I want to feel   
Like I'm close to something real   
I want to find something i've wanted all along   
Somewhere I belong   
  
And I've got nothing to say   
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face   
  
C&G: I was confused   
  
Draco: Looking everywhere only to find that it's   
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind   
  
C&G: So what am I   
  
Draco: What do I have but negativity   
'Cause I can't justify the   
Way everyone is looking at me   
  
C&G: Nothing to lose   
  
Draco: Nothing to gain hollow and alone   
And the fault is my own   
The fault is my own   
  
Crabbe: I will never know  
Myself until I do this on my own  
  
Goyle: And I will never feel  
Anything else until my wounds are healed  
  
Crabbe: I will never be  
Anything 'til I break away from me  
  
Goyle: And I will break away  
I'll find myself today   
  
Draco: I want to heal  
I want to feel like I'm  
Somewhere i belong  
  
At the last note of the song, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle walked out of the library, completely unaware that they had just burst into song.  
Harry crept out from behind the bookshelf, panicky yet amused.  
Amused that Crabbe and Goyle could sing, and panicky because people might just burst into song everywhere for the rest of his life.  
"What a nightmare!" Harry moaned, making haste to the exit of the Library.  
  
~*~  
So what do you think? It's such a short chapter, if you skip the lyrics bit. but anyway. A review would be much appreciated! :D  
  
~Feishien 


	7. Dumbledore and McGonagall

Disclaimer: I invented Harry Potter, so why am I writing a disclaimer? Oh, who am I kidding, I haven't got enough imagination to invent such a wonderful story with such adorable characters! I'm just a lowly fanfiction writer! waaaaa...  
  
Ok, on with the story, if you insist!  
~*~  
  
Harry wandered around the castle aimlessly, always looking over his shoulder for anyone who looked like they were about to burst into song and dance.  
Harry suddenly heard music ahead, coming from the transfiguration class room. Harry tied to make a run for it, but it was too late, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore had walked out of the transfiguration classroom, trapping Harry in a corner, and blocking any means of escape.  
Dumbledore turned to McGonagall and the music grew louder; Harry didn't bare to watch.  
  
Dumbledore: I've got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm loooooooosing control; cos the power you're supplying, it electrifying!  
  
Harry managed not to gag at all this and maintain a steady breathing pattern.  
  
McGonagall: Ya better shape up, cos I need a man; and my heart is set on you. Better shape up, you better understand, to my heart I must be true.  
  
Dumbledore: Nothin' left, nothin' left for me to do.  
  
Together: You're the one that I want.  
(you are the one i want), o,o, oo, honey.  
The one that I want.  
(you are the one i want), o,o,oo, honey.  
The one that I want  
You, o,o, oo  
are what I need.  
Oh, yes indeed.  
  
Harry pinched himself. Yep, it was real.  
  
McGonagall: If you're filled  
with affection  
you're to shy to convey,  
meditate in my direction.  
Feel your way.  
  
Harry shuddered.  
"BAD images..."  
  
Dumbledore: I better shape up,  
'cause you need a man  
  
McGonagall: I need a man  
who can keep me satisfied.  
  
"Satisfied? Even MORE bad images!" Harry said aloud.  
  
Dumbledore: I better shape up  
if I'm gonna prove  
  
McGonagall: oh you better prove  
  
Dumbledore: that my faith is justified.  
  
McGonagall: Are you sure?   
  
Dumbledore: Yes, I'm sure down deep inside.  
  
Together: You're the one that I want.  
You, o,o, oo, honey.  
The one that I want.  
You, o,o,oo, honey.  
The one that I want  
You, oo, oo  
are what I need.  
Oh, yes indeed.  
  
Harry wasted no time in getting the hell out of there.  
He bolted to the nearest exit and never looked back.  
  
~*~  
Sooooo??? What do you think? Review me! 


	8. Cho's Reflection

Disclaimer: None of these chracters are mine. Ya'll hear?  
  
OK, time to read the rest of my wonderful musical...  
~*~  
  
Harry ran out of the castle, and dunked his head in the lake to wash his eyes from the terrible scene that befell his eyes. [A/N yes, I used that phrase in Chapter 1, but who really cares]  
He quickly regretted it as the lake was icy cold.  
Harry took out his wand and magicked himself dry.  
It was then that he heard soft crying a little way down from himself. He turned to see who it was.  
He gasped. It was Cho Chang.  
Harry got all panicky and wondered what he should do.  
Cho hadn't noticed Harry was there yet.  
In all the confusion that was swirling around in Harry's brain, he ducked behind a tree to avoid an embarrassing scene.  
[A/N Harry seems to be running away from his problems a lot]  
Cho suddenly looked up and wiped a few tears off her face.  
  
Cho: Look at me,  
You may think you see who I really am,   
But you'll never know me  
Everyday, it's as if I play a part  
Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart.  
  
[A/N very Mulan-ish, don't you think?]  
"More singing? greeeeeeeeat..."  
Cho: Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?  
When will me reflection show who I am inside?  
  
Harry was shocked, even more shocked than before. Cho always seemed like such a happy person.  
  
Cho: I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in,  
But somehow, I will show the world what's inside my heart  
And be loved for who I am  
  
Harry never realised there was more to Cho than meets the eye.  
  
Who is that girl I see  
Staring straight back at me?  
Why is my reflection someone i don't know?  
Must I pretend that I'm someone else  
For all time?  
When will my reflection show who I am inside?  
  
There's a heart that must be free to fly  
That burns with the need to know the reason why  
Why must we all conceal  
What we think? How we feel?  
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?  
  
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time  
When will my reflection show who I am inside?  
When will my reflection show who I am inside?  
  
Cho got up and walked slowly back to the castle.  
Harry didn't move. He didn't know what to say. Cho had just sung about how she had to cover up her real self.  
'Was this what she had to do to be popular?' Harry wondered.  
  
"AHA! I have found you!" said a hoarse voice from behind him.  
Harry spun around alarmed.  
  
~*~  
I don't think I'm very good at creating an air of suspense. Darn. Ah well, enjoy reviewing me! 


	9. Voldie invites you to be his guest

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter. No, you won't sue me. Got it?  
  
So on with the story...  
  
~*~  
  
"Voldemort!" breathed Harry.  
"Yes, it is I, the Dark Lord Voldemort! Mwahahahahahaha!!" replied Voldemort in his croaky voice. "Now you will come with me to my secret hideout!"  
"No I-"  
  
!!!  
  
The next thing Harry knew, he was in a dim room. He didn't know exactly which part of Hogwarts it was, or if he was even in Hogwarts.  
Voldemort was gone, which was good.   
Harry tired to move, but he was no good, he was stuck like glue to the floor. Harry heard footsteps.  
Coming closer...  
And closer...  
And closer...  
It was...  
"Voldemort! [A/N yet again...]"  
"Yes, and I have come to torture you even more!" he announced.  
"For it was I who put a spell on everyone to make them sing and dance! Pretty clever, eh?"  
"No" Harry replied bitterly.  
Voldemort glared at him menacingly.  
"Well, no matter" Voldie said dangerously. "I have a treat for you, Potter"  
Harry would have backed away, if it hadn't been for the darn spell glueing him to the floor.  
"But first, make yourself at home Harry, sit down, sit down!"  
Voldemort waved his wand and Harry swiftly moved from the ground into a dusty armchair. And he stayed there.  
  
Voldie: My dearest Harry, it is with deepest pride  
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.  
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a  
chair as my minions proudly present - your  
dinner!  
  
Voldie conjoured up a table filled with all types of food.  
"Eek!" Harry squealed. "This is not good, definately not good"  
  
Voldie:Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Put our service to the test  
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Harry  
And we provide the rest  
Soup du jour  
Hot hors d'oeuvres  
Why, we only live to serve  
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious  
Don't believe me? Ask the minions!  
  
At this various death eaters pranced out doing ballet and singing opera.  
  
They can sing  
They can dance  
After all, Sir, this is France!  
  
The music screeched to a stop. Wormtail came out.   
"We're in France, my Lord?" he inquired.  
"Well, almost in France, anyway" Volie muttered impatiently.  
"Oh, I see" Wormtail said and nodded.  
The music came back on.  
  
Voldie: And a dinner here is never second best  
Go on, unfold your menu  
Take a glance and then you'll  
Be our guest  
Oui, our guest  
Be our guest  
  
"This. Is. Not. Happening. This. Is. Not. Happening." Harry repeated over and over.  
  
Random Death eaters: Beef ragout  
Cheese souffle  
Pie and pudding "en flambe"  
  
Wormtail: We'll prepare and serve with flair  
A culinary cabaret  
  
Voldie: You're alone  
And you're scared  
But the banquet's all prepared  
No one's gloomy or complaining  
With my minions entertaining  
We tell jokes  
I do tricks  
With my wand and my broomstick [A/N sorry, I'm thinking dirty right now...]  
  
Deatheaters: And it's all in perfect taste, that you can bet  
  
Everyone: Come on and lift your glass,  
You've won your own free pass  
To be our guest  
  
Voldie: If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!  
  
Everyone: Be our guest!  
Be our guest!  
Be our guest!  
  
Voldie: Life is so unnerving,  
As a dark lord needing serving,   
He ain't whole without a soul to do his bidding  
  
Deatheaters: Ah, those good old days, when we were useful  
Suddenly those good old days are gone  
  
Voldie: Fifteen years, I've been rusting,  
Needing so much more than dusting,  
Needing a body to live  
A chance to do some evil!  
Most days I wandered around the forest,  
Flabby, fat and lazy, I saw you and oops a daisy!  
"OK, I'm officially freaked out here"  
Wormtail:It's a guest!  
It's a guest!  
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed  
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord  
I've had the napkins freshly pressed  
With dessert  
He'll want tea  
And my dear that's fine with me  
While the deatheaters do their soft shoeing  
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing  
I'll get warm  
Piping hot  
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?  
Clean it up! We want the company impressed  
We've got a lot to do  
Is it one lump or two  
For you, our guest?  
"Aaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!"  
Deatheater: He's our guest!  
  
Wormtail: He's our guest?  
  
Deatheaters: He's our guest!  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Our command is your request  
It's been years since we had anybody here  
And we're obsessed  
With your meal  
With your ease  
Yes, indeed, we aim to please  
While the candlelight's still glowing  
Let us help you  
We'll keep going  
  
Voldie: Course by course  
One by one  
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"  
  
Deatheaters: Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest  
Tonight you'll prop your feet up  
But for now, let's eat up  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Harry then had no choice than to eat all the food on the table.  
"Gosh this is good" he said through a mouthful of mashed potato.  
  
"Yes, eat up! Eat up! The pary's just started" mumbled Voldie to himself under his breath.  
  
~*~  
What's Voldie up to? Find out later...  
While you're waiting, a review would be nice! :) 


	10. Voldie's so alive! Or maybe not

Disclaimer: Harry isn't mine, the intelligent Joanne Kathleen Rowling created Him and all his little friends. And his enemies as well. One day I shall create something bigger than Harry and you shall all bow down to me, buy my books and make me a multi-billionaire!   
But for now I'll stick to fanfiction.  
  
I realise I should've put a 'Be Warned' label before you read the last chapter, but you should always be cautious before reading anything I write.  
Anyway...I think this chapter is more disturbing than the last!  
~*~  
  
"All full now Harry?" Voldie cooed.  
Harry was to bloated to answer.  
"Good. Now it's time for the real torture!" Voldie said menacingly.  
"What, the singing wasn't torture enough??" Harry yelled back.  
"Harry, the fun has just begun!"  
Wormtail started binding Harry with rope to the chair and took his wand.   
"Yoink!"  
Voldie ripped off his cloak to reveal [A/N a tight revealing bright pink body suit! Nah, jokes] A tank top and tracksuit pants. Wormtail tossed him a pair of sunglasses and a beret.  
"Ohhh, the poetry club!" exclaimed Harry, eyeing the beret.  
"Bu- wha- NO! not the darn poetry club!" scowled Voldie.  
"Shall I do it now, master?" wheezed Wormtail.  
"Yes, now is the time, make haste!" replied Voldie, evilly.  
  
Harry freaked out. First the food and now this...what on earth were they going to do to him? What sort of sick twisted torture would he undergo? The crucio curse? Or even the Killing curse?  
  
Wormtail put on a record.  
  
Harry looked blankly at Voldemort.  
"I should've seen this coming."  
Voldie: I still remember it was day number one  
We hit the ground and then we started to run  
Now we're connected and I won't turn around  
Cause you set me free, put my soul at ease   
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Harry screamed, Horrified.  
Voldie: I just can't stop the feeling  
What you give is what I'm needing  
I just won't stop believing  
On and on it's only just begun  
I'm feeling so alive  
Make it last forever  
Everyday is fine  
Whenever we're together  
I'm so alive  
And loving every minute  
Underneath the sky there's a heaven for you and I   
I feel so alive   
Harry squirmed, trying to rid himself of his binds in vain.  
Voldie: Day number two and there's a difference in me  
We're getting closer baby spiritually  
I got this feeling it was just meant to be  
There's an energy between you and me yeah   
"Make it stop! Make it stop!" pleaded Harry, banging his head against the arm of the chair.  
Voldie grined, his plan was working.  
Voldie: I just can't stop the feeling  
What you give is what I'm needing  
I just won't stop believing  
On and on it's only just begun   
I'm feeling so alive  
Make it last forever  
Everyday is fine  
Whenever we're together  
I'm so alive  
And loving every minute  
Underneath the sky there's a heaven for you and I   
By now Harry had given up all means of escaping, he just tried to ignore it; but to no avail.  
Voldie: Like a waterfall coming down on me  
I can't go back cos I'm in too deep  
You make me see those things that I never seen  
You know the remedy, it's obvious to me   
I'm feeling so alive  
Make it last forever  
Everyday is fine  
Whenever we're together  
I'm so alive  
And loving every minute  
Underneath the sky there's a heaven for you   
  
I'm feeling so alive  
Make it last forever  
Everyday is fine  
Whenever we're together  
I'm so alive  
And loving every minute  
Underneath the sky there's a heaven for you and I  
Voldie then started laughing hysterically.   
"Now you know the pain and torture you have put me throught for the past 15 years! Mwahahahaha [A/N Moohaha...]"  
"Oh, it's agonizing!" agreed Harry "I've learnt my lesson, can I go now?"  
"BE SILENT SCARHEAD!" boomed Voldie. "I am not yet done with you!"  
"Eek!"  
"Wormtail, the next song, if you will" continued Voldie.  
  
Wormtail put another record on. Voldie grinned at the sight of Harry's terrified face.  
  
Voldie: I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes  
Harry's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.  
Voldie: A little righteous and too proud  
I just want to find a way to compromise -  
"Stop right there!" Boomed a voice in the darkness  
  
Harry recognised it right away.  
  
"Ron?"  
  
"And Hermione!" came another voice, indignantly.  
  
Just then, Ron and Hermione stepped into the light, glaring at Voldie.  
  
"What are you twerps doing here?" said Voldie, impatiently.  
  
"We've come to rescue Harry!" replied Ron calmly.  
  
"Oh yeah, how?" Voldie shot back cockily.  
  
"Well - er - we -" Ronlooked worried "What do we do, Hermione?" He whispered to Hermione.  
  
"Oh, honestly, do I have to do *everything*?"  
Hermione took out her wand before voldie had time to react.  
"Expelliarmus!"  
  
Voldie was blasted off his feet. His wand as well as Harry's scattered far from his reach.   
Ron skitted off to get them. Wormtail tried to stop him, but Ron just poked him in the eye with Voldie's wand.  
  
Harry watched in awe as all this was happening.  
  
Hermione walked up to Voldie, towering over him. Voldie cowered, without his wand he was useless, and with his right hand man staggering around yelling "My eye! My eye!" he looked even more pathetic.  
  
Hermione raised her wand.  
"Crucio!" she looked in satisfaction as Voldie twitched and screamed in pain. "I want you to suffer as much as you have made others suffer"  
  
Meanwhile, Ron untied Harry. They both rushed over to Hermione's side.  
  
"Don't you think that's enough torture, Hermione?" inquired Ron.  
  
"Not enough!" screeched Hermione. "Pain! PAIN!"  
  
Ron and Harry both backed away slowly.  
  
"Oh alright then. I'LL perform the killing curse on him now, then" Hermione sighed.  
"Ava-"  
  
"Wait! Wait!" squealed Harry, bouncing on the balls of his feet.  
  
"What it it Harry?" said Hermione impatiently.  
  
"Can *I* do the curse thingy?" Harry asked Hopefully. "Pleeeeease?"  
  
"Tsk. I suppose so." answered Hermione dejectedly.  
  
"Goody!"  
Ron handed Harry his wand and Harry walked over to Hermione's position. Hermione stood in a corner with Ron.  
Harry raised his wand.  
"Avada Kedavra!" yelled Harry definately.  
Voldie had screamed his last scream.  
~*~  
10 Chapters! Not very much of an accomplishment, but anyways, my chapters have now gone double-digits! Yay!  
I think they'll be one last chapter after this. Or two.  
Oh yes, and don't forget to review!  
PS. don't mind my little A/N's they were what I resisted to actually put in the story, but I couldn't help typing them. 


	11. Timewarps and concequences

Disclaimer: Harry and Co. is not mine. I wish they were, but unfortunately they're not.  
  
UNFORTUNATELY, this will be my last chapter *sob* But I might make a sequel to 'A Hogwartian Musical' or something...  
~*~  
In a blinding flash of green light, all life left Voldie's body. It lay in a crumpled heap on the floor.  
Harry dusted his hands.  
"And that's the end of that"  
"what about that guy over there?" Ron said, jerking his head over to Wormtail, who was wriggling in pain and clutching his eye on the floor.  
"I'll handle this!" said Hermione, springing up on Wormtail.  
"Avada Kedavra!" In another flash of green light, life left yet another body that night.  
"Was that really necessary?" asked Ron, tidmidly.  
"Of course it was necessary" snapped Hermione.  
Just then, a whole bunch of Hogwarts students came bursting in the room, form an unseen door.  
"Yeh've done it, 'Arry!" came the familiar voice of Hagrid.  
"Ah yes, and what a splendid job you did too" Dumbledore came into view.  
Harry beamed at both of them.  
"HEY! I got Harry's wand!" Ron said, annoyed.  
"And I killed Wormtail!" said Hermione proudly.  
"Yes, yes, and you two did very good - uh - work" Dumbledore replied, patting the two sidekicks awkwardly on the head.  
"But now it's time to celebrate the death of the Dark Lord, Voldemort!"  
At this the Hogwarts students turned to face Dumbledore.  
"SAY YOU-KNOW-WHO!" they bellowed.  
Dumbledore grinned sheepishly.  
More music came on.  
  
Dumbledore: It's astounding  
Time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll  
But listen closely  
  
McGonagall: Not for very much longer  
  
Dumbledore: I've got to - keep control  
I remember doing the timewarp  
Drinking those moments when  
The blackness would hit me  
  
Both: And the void would be calling  
  
All of Hogwarts: Lets do the time warp again!  
Let's do the timewarp again!  
Harry sighed at more madness.  
"Well, if you can't beat 'em, join em!"  
Harry: It's just a jump to the left.  
  
All of Hogwarts: And then a step to the right  
  
Harry: With your hands on your hips  
  
All of Hogwarts: You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust [A/N Pelvic thrust...]  
That really drives you insane  
Let's do the Timewarp again  
Let's do the Timewarp again  
  
McGonagall: It's so dreamy  
Oh fantasy free me  
So you can't see me  
No not at all  
in another dimension  
With voyeuristic intension  
Well secluded  
I'll see all  
  
Dumbledore: With a bit of a mind flip  
  
McGonagall: You're into the time slip  
  
Dumbledore: And nothing can ever be the same  
  
McGonagall: You're spaced out on sensation  
  
Dumbledore: Like you're under sedation  
  
All of Hogwarts: Let's do the Timewarp again  
Let's do the Timewarp again  
  
Hagrid: Well I was walking down the street just a having a think  
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink  
He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise  
he had a pick-up broom and Voldie's eyes  
He stared at me and I felt a change  
Time meant nothing, never would again  
  
All of Hogwarts: Let's do the timewarp again!  
Let's do the timewarp again!  
  
Harry: It's just a jump to the left  
  
All of Hogwarts: And then a step to the right  
  
Harry: With your hands on your hips  
  
All of Hogwarts: You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust  
That really drives you insane  
Let's do the Timewarp again  
Let's do the Timewarp again  
  
Harry was sure that was the last random song he'd ever hear.  
The Hogwarts students burst out into chatter about the death of Voldie.  
Suddenly...  
"Mwahahahahaha!"  
Several gasps rose up from the crowd. The voice was recognized instantly by everyone as that of Voldie's.  
"Fool! You cannot get rid of me so easily! By singing that wretched song, you have created a rift in the time and space continum! Now suffer the consequences!"  
  
Harry looked around. Everything just became fuzzy and warped. The room slowly dissapeared, along with everone in it...  
  
~*~  
  
Harry Potter stared at the monsterous scene that befell his eyes that morning at the breakfast table. it was Dudley's birthday and, as a treat, Aunt Petunia gave Dudley an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet...  
  
~*~   
And the saga continues...  
What do ya'll think? Review me! It would be much appreciated! 


End file.
